“What does Liz want?”
I froze, I felt like throwing up, my heart was racing. It was a simple question, but they wouldn’t take any answer but what I really wanted – not what I thought would make them happy – and I felt like a cornered animal…
What the heck?! Even after all my inner work, how could this be happening?
The week, I was given the opportunity to face my fatal flaw (putting everyone before myself) head on. It was a full blown Decision Point and if I hadn’t chosen to grow beyond my comfort zone and put myself first, I would have missed out on a wonderful opportunity.
I realized that Putting Others First Always, has been a survival mechanism for me…
As you can imagine, growing up in an abusive home, putting everyone else first, kept me safe. If people liked me and felt good around me, they protected me. Its also not an uncommon flow for us American women since society has reinforced it so well.
My point for you is that this is a pattern of mine that was very deep and went all the way back to my childhood.
When I was confronted on it, I felt all the pain and fear and panic that I felt as a little, helpless girl…
But the pain of not growing and losing an opportunity for a deeper connection was greater.
The joy of growing was greater too!
So I pushed thru and made the Decision to think of what I want first – regardless of what action I decide to ultimately take. Can I still choose to help others, to consider the effect my actions will have on others?
Of course! The difference is that I am asking what makes Liz happy first. It not only changes the energy and my feeling of self-worth, it also changes how I offer to help others.
I always tell my daughter, “When someone asks you to give them options, always give them choices that you like too!”
Now when I help others or consider actions, I consider first ones that make me happy too…
Obvious much? Yes, but when your fatal flaw has a hold of you, it can blind you to the obvious. It can cause abject panic because that survival mechanism served to get us this far. It may have even have made us successful. Giving it up is like giving up a safety blanket and what’s left is the cold unknown.
So how did I do it?
The reward was greater than my fear.
The pain of losing was greater than the pain of staying the same.
I wasn’t alone.
If you are reading this now, you are here for a reason and here’s my question to you…
What is your Decision Point right now?
It may center around your survival mechanism/fatal flaw. Ed and I both are processing those now in ways that we couldn’t see before Life’s New Game. Clearing helped us both reach Decision Points that were hidden from us before.
Confronting a Fatal Flaw feels like a very dangerous thing. It is part of our identity and it has served us.
But when I reached that Decision Point and decided to grow, honored and thanked it for getting me this far and then using our Instant Upgrade Process to clear it, it lost all power over me.
Am I perfect now? Hell no!
I have almost no skill set for putting myself first, but I’m learning every day and without that Fatal Flaw narrowing my vision, triggering fight or flight or keeping me from communicating clearly, I’m learning fast!
What’s your Decision Point…right now?
You don’t have to face it alone…https://lifesnewgame.com/unlocksuccess
To Your New Game!
Liz